Part 1    table of contents  

Author’s note:
If it’s not obvious, I really like the idea of Laurell K Hamilton’s ‘ardeur’ or sex magic. DISCLAIMER: Whoa, just realized I’ve been spelling that wrong, it’s actually ‘ardeur’. Oh well, too late now.

P.S. I’m a sucker for a romantic anti-love-story.



The book was just out of reach, Kellie Laskey stood on the very tips of her toes, fingers stretched as far as they could go and she still couldn’t reach the damn book. It—the book—was one the wrong shelf, and it was her job to put the books where they belonged.

She fell back to the flats of her shoes, put her hands on her hips and glared hatefully at the book. A second later she stuck her tongue out at the book and turned to find one of those little stool things.

“Were you trying to reach that book? I can get it for you if you like,” Kellie turned toward the voice and she found herself facing one of the two most handsome men she’d even seen.

He was as tall as a boy she’d gone to school with, around 6’4” or 6’5” even and just as slender, but not lanky. His hair was so blonde it looked white and his eyes— they looked light grey to her—reflected the light hanging over head, it all stood in stark contrast to his black suit. He was pale too; several shades paler than her and Kellie had been the palest out of all her friends and family. Outside her late brother, he’d looked a lot like this man, but Josh’s eyes had been almost pink when he hadn’t worn the green contacts.

“Miss?” The man asked.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I couldn’t reach it.” She said and in the next moment the book was in her hands, his fingers still holding one side. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Do you work here?”

“Yep,” She lifted her name tag up for him to see. “Can I help you find something?”

He nodded. “Yes, I’m doing some research for a friend.”

“Follow me to my terminal,” She said and led the man to her desk with its computer. “What’s the subject?”

“My friend is interested in learning a little about necromancy, but literature on the subject is proving hard to find.”

“I know,” Kellie said. “I got interested in necromancy when I was a teen, the stuff is hard to find. And most literature on it boarders close to eroticism, but I’ll see what I can find. You don’t mind if it’s a special order do you?”

“No, not at all.” He said. “Are you from Tennessee?”

Kellie glanced up at him. “Yep, most people guess Texas.”

He shook his head. “Your accent is too light to be a Texan accent.”

“And yours is too buttery to be Mississippi, so I’m gonna say... Maybe Georgia or Louisiana?”

The man smiled at her. “Louisiana, do you travel much?”

“I’ve never been over seas, mostly just from Maine to Tennessee and back again,” She said, typing in another search word. “Do you travel?”

“Not as much as when I was younger.” He told her.

“I’d travel all over the place if I had the money to, but I don’t so here I am.” More typing. “You look a little like my brother did... Are you albino too?”

His expression changed but Kellie didn’t notice, she was still typing in search words. “You are a bold questioner—”

“Oh, my name’s Kel Laskey, and I know. I can’t help it; I’ve never seen the point in beating around the bush when I want to know something. You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat—”

“But satisfaction brought him back.” The man finished the old saying.

Kellie smiled at him.

“And...I am albino, type two.” His voice was lower than it had been before.

“My brother was type one, with the pink eyes.” She said.

“Is that why your hair is pink?”

Kellie winked at him. “Yep, you question boldly too, you know.”

He gave her another little smile.

“Josh was cool about it, sometimes, but he wore contacts a lot. He hated being picked on and he did have such a hair-trigger when it came to his temper... Here we go; I’ve got three hits on necromancy that aren’t erotica or fiction. I assume your friend wants non-fiction?”

“Correct,” He said. “Would it be possible to order all three?”

“Yep, I’ll need a number to contact you and your name.”

He handed her a business card, she looked at it. Federal Bureau of Investigation, Special Agent AXL Pendergast. His cell phone number was written of the other side of the card.

“FBI huh? Coolie, so are you Mulder or Scully?”

He chuckled softly and it made her smile. “A little of both perhaps,”

“Always good to mix it up a bit.” She agreed. “Okay, Mister Pendergast, I’ll give you a call in a week. Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure was all mine I assure you, Miss Laskey.”

Kellie laughed. “You sure are a new spin on the good ol’ boys. And call me Kel, by the way...Axel,” She said, knowing AXL were initials and not an actual name.

“It’s Aloysius, by the way.” He smiled, then turned and walked out of her life until the next week.

...

The next time I saw Kel Laskey, she happened to be on her break, eating lunch with a man her age that I knew perhaps a little too well. I had been about to turn away to go find something to do until her lunch was over but she called my name.

The young man with her turned around, smiled and then turned back to Kel. “Hi Pendergast.” The man said to me over his shoulder.

“Hello, Brett,” I said.

Kel’s hair was piled on top of her head, but the curls kept falling into her eyes, it wasn’t pink any more, but was instead blue. I had liked the pink look. “You know him Brett?”

I pulled out a seat next to the blond man as he answered. “We met at the System, remember? The murder mystery play you said you were going to come to but never did?”

Kel laughed. “I’m never gonna live that down am I?”

“Nope.” Brett told her and the two shared a laugh.

“How do you two know each other?” I finally asked, they seemed close but I knew Brett, had known him for a year now and I knew he preferred men to women though he labeled himself bisexual.

“We went to school together in Maine.” Kel said. “I came out here to see the Natural History Museum and I never left.”

“I was just along for the ride, but I found the System and started acting there, never left either.”

“This is quite the coincidence,” I said.

“So then you don’t believe in fate?” Kel asked me and the look in her eyes was intense enough to stir something in me that few did.

“That’s her roundabout way of saying she likes you, Ally.” Brett said, I glared at him, hating that he called me ‘Ally’ in front of her and not sure why. Then I processed what he’d said, looked at Kel.

She shrugged under my gaze, a lot of people had told me it was piercing, but it didn’t seem to have any effect on her. Then I remembered what she’d told me about her brother and I figured my gaze was nothing compared to his.

“You find me attractive?” I asked slowly.

She grinned, flashing her front teeth. “I want to boink your brains out.”

“Jeeze!” Brett stage yelled at her. “You’re not beating around the bush today, are you?”

Kel hopped up and down on her butt in the seat. “I’ve had sugar.” And they both laughed like it was some old joke.

I didn’t know what to say to either of them, mostly to Kel because I found her attractive too. Or, rather a part of me I tried to keep well-fed found her attractive; but it was the same way I found certain foods appealing.

There was a chirp and Kel grabbed her cell phone from a pocket in her jacket. “Hello? Yep, I’ll be right there. Okay, bye. I’ve got to go back to the front desk, so I’ll see you later Brett. Ally, your books are under my desk, you can come get them any time. Bye guys!” She grabbed her jacket and dashed off.

“She likes me?” I asked Brett finally.

“You’re all she’s talked about for a week.” He said and shifted his chair across from mine. “I should have known something was up when she refused to tell me what you looked like, just that you were hot.”

It had been at least a month since I’d last seen Brett, but he hadn’t changed much. His hair was golden blond, shoulder length and wavy, his eyes were a watery blue-green, and his complexion boarded on rosy. He wore jeans and a Legend of Zelda t-shirt. No, he hadn’t changed much at all.

“She’s not your girlfriend?” I asked.

“Oh hell no! I mean, she’s a great girl, but I’m not her type and she’s not mine, not really anyway. You’re her type though.”

I couldn’t stop the next question. “What is her type then, Brett?”

“Kel likes ‘em tall, blond and smart. She’s a sucker for the white knight, or she was, but her heart’s been broken a lot, so maybe not any more.”

“Who broke her heart?” I wanted to know, a sudden heat that was spreading though me slowly fueled the need to know the answer to each question I asked.

“There... was this guy... this teacher she liked when we were in high school, he was young, maybe late twenties or early thirties. Now that I think about it, I think he was a T/A and not an actual teacher. Anyway, it broke her heart because she knew she could never be with him, but she told him how she felt when we graduated. It didn’t matter, but she told me she had to tell him because it was the right thing to do. She hates keeping a secret that has the potential to make other people happy.”

It was a touching story. “You seem to know her well,”

He gave me a look. “She’s my best friend, my only real friend for the longest time. Before you of course.”

“Of course,” I said, though I didn’t feel that much like his friend, sometimes I was his lover, but that wasn’t the same.

“Ask her out sometime,” He said suddenly. “It would make her happy.”

I looked around the Barnes & Noble café, at the people on their laptops, other sipping coffee and cappuccino. I could see Kel at the front desk assisting a little boy with his mother standing behind him; she was smiling while she spoke to them.

“She seems happy to me,” I told Brett and he scoffed.

“It’s an act, good isn’t it? I’ve been trying to get her to go to the System since we moved here but she swears up and down she can’t act at all. That she can’t remember the lines or where she’s supposed to stand. But it’s complete bullshit; she’s been fooling people since we were in Junior High. Aloysius... she’s lonely and she doesn’t want any one to know.”

“But you’re her best friend, so of course you know.” I said.

“Yeah, I know. Please ask her out, give the ardeur something new and she’ll give you a good time. But Ally?”

“Yes, Brett?”

He became seriously quite suddenly. “If you break her heart or if she gets hurt because of you, I’ll rip your fucking dick off and feed it to you.”

I flashed him a smile. “Understood.”

“Pendergast, I mean it. It’s not me you need to worry about if you hurt her. Listen, I know you’re a FED and all and that you can shoot and fight like a cocaine monkey. But Kel... she won’t stand for it if you hurt her, it doesn’t matter how good the sex is. It’s her terms or not at all, remember that. And be gentle with her, okay?”

I nodded.

...

Kellie was almost convinced it was coincidence that Brett knew her latest obsession, after RPK (their code for the man she’d liked in high school) she really had given up on men and dating in general. There were always plenty of books to read, movies to watch to get the same affect, that bothersome feeling of love. RPK had been the only person she’d ever really loved and that had been useless, her irrational feelings for him had made high school seem more hellish than it really was.

He had been the last, it had been nearly two years since she and Brett had moved to New York and she hardly ever ever thought about RPK any more. But now this man, Pendergast, had entered her life, had been apart of it for technically only minutes (not counting the entire week she’d talked to Brett about him) and all those things she had felt for RPK were coming back in full force.

No, it wasn’t coincidence; it was fate. Small moments leading up to one big moment that decided everything. She hadn’t believed in god for a long time, the death of her grandmother had started her decline and then when she was told how sick she would become before the end, she had pretty much condemned the bastard in her mind. So maybe it was Lady Luck cutting her a break.

Part 2    table of contents  

“I hope these are what your friend is looking for,” Kel said as I read the back covers of all three books.

“I do as well.” I paid for the books, wondering why the FBI’s database for cults was so out of date and debating on whether or not I should update it myself.

“Say Pendergast, what are you doing tonight?”

I looked up at her and low in my belly, the ardeur shifted and stirred. “Not much really. Why, may I ask?”

“Well,” She smiled at me. “There’s this play at the System tonight, and I promised Brett I would go. But I don’t really want to go by myself and I was sort of hoping I could convince you to tag along.”

I looked into her dark green eyes, Brett had said she wasn’t happy, that she was lonely but she hid it too well. I could see it plain as day and—I don’t know if it was my sex magic or if it was just me—but I suddenly didn’t want that look to be there.

“That would be lovely,” I said and she smiled brightly, she smiled a lot it seemed. Then again, maybe it was just me; I hadn’t seen her smile at Brett. “When would you like me to pick you up?”

“I’ll be home around five-thirty and the play is at seven. So in between then I reckon.” She scrawled her address and number on a blank receipt and handed it to me. “Oh, those books aren’t for a friend are they? They’re for the FBI right?”

My eyes shot up from the receipt. “Yes,” I said. “You’re very intelligent, Kel.”

“I’ve been told as much...Ally.” She frowned. “I think I like Aloysius better than Ally.”

I only smiled slightly at her. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Yep, bye-bye.”

...

Kellie set the black long sleeve shirt on her bed, took off her glasses and dried her hair with the blue towel. She let the towel drop a moment later, and knelt beside the clothes basket to search for her socks. She found a pair but was unsure of their color; she had to feel around for her glasses. When she turned back, her calico cat, Thing One, held the socks in his mouth.

“Drop them now fuzz ball.” She ordered and the cat dashed out the bedroom door. “Hey! I need those! T.O. come back here!”

She pulled the black shirt on and chased after the cat. When she followed him to the living room she heard Pendergast knocking on the front door. “I’ll get you,” She warned the cat and opened the door.

Pendergast was wearing another of his black suits, his blonde hair combed back neatly and she suddenly remember her hair was still blue and sticking up in odd places if it hadn’t been for her cat, she’d be completely dressed. Speaking of dressed— she still hadn’t found a clean pair of jeans.

“Hey you,” She said.

“Hello Kel,” Pendergast said and she caught him looking at her pale legs under the long hem of her shirt. “I know I’m not ready yet, but Thing One took my socks, I’ve been chasing him.”

He came inside and sat down on the edge of her sofa. “Thing One?” He asked.

“My cat, well, one of my cats.”

“Ah, is there a Thing Two as well?”

She grinned at him. “Yep, she’s an outdoor cat. I’ll just get back my socks then we can go.”

Kel could feel him watching her as she snuck up on the cat and snagged him about the waist, pulling the darks socks from his mouth. She kissed the cat’s head and ruffled his fur. “I told you I’d get you T.O.” She said to the cat. “Be back in a sec.”

...

Kel had a nice little house out in the middle of nowhere; I almost hadn’t been able to find it. From where I sat on her sofa I could see four doors, a bedroom, a kitchen, a bathroom and another room. Her living room was dominated by books, hundreds of them and there was a large TV in one corner with various gaming consoles sitting in front of it. I shared the sofa with Thing One and maybe thirty stuffed animals of pastel colors.

The cat meowed at me and I lifted my hand to pet him, he swatted at me and hissed. “He doesn’t like anyone but my dad.” Kel said and I turned to look over the back of the couch.

Her blue hair was completely dry, the ends curling just beneath her ears. She wore the black shirt she’d opened the door in but the sleeves were pushed up and she wore a heavy silver chain around her neck. Her legs weren’t bare any more much to my dismay; she had that honey-and-milk skin tone that most redheads were lucky to have. Her jeans were charcoal and her shoes were neon green Converse, all in all, the look both contrasted and complimented her personality and the odd color of her hair.

“I should have left my hair pink a little longer,” She said absently, almost like she’d heard my thought.

“You look beautiful.” I said.

Kel shrugged her slender shoulders, she stood next to a bookcase and I suddenly realized how short she was, 5 feet at the most, 4’11” at the least, she was so willowy that her stature hadn’t stood out before.

“Beautiful,” She said. “Is a slinky black dress, I look acceptable. But compared to you...” She looked me up and down, grinning. “I’ll make it through the door at least.”

I felt my lips twitch then I gave in and smiled.

She pointed at me. “See! Now that’s beautiful,” She started laughing.

“I take it you’ve had more sugar.” I said.

She hopped over the back of the sofa and landed in a pile of stuffed animals. “Yep, I know I shouldn’t but my dad sent me some treats from Michigan and I couldn’t wait. Anyway, I’m more fun when I’m sugar-high.”

I was starting to see that, I looked back at her and saw her holding a bright red stuffed rabbit that was shaped wrong, she was pulling absently at its ears.

“Are you okay Kel?” I asked, she was suddenly silent and that didn’t fit with all the hopping around I’d just witnessed.

“Hmm? Yep, I have a fast metabolism; the sugar-high will be gone in a few more minutes. It’s sad that’s all, I like being sugar-high.”

“I can’t remember the last time I was ‘sugar-high’ as you put it.” I murmured, she had a quality Brett hadn’t mentioned, maybe he hadn’t thought to. She had effortlessly put me at ease and made it easy to talk to her as an equal.

“That is sad,” She said. “I’ll tell you what; we’ll get sugar-high together sometime, with Brett too if you like. But I’m not aloud to have a lighter, just so you know.”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed, Thing One glared at me. It wasn’t just her accent, it was the way she’d said the sentence that made it funny.

“Hey!” She tossed the rabbit at my head. “I’m being serious here Pendergast!” She said but then she started laughing too.

“I know,” I tossed the rabbit back, she deflected it and it fell to the floor. Thing One carried it off and we laughed again.

“Oh,” She chuckled. “We should get going now, Brett wanted to see me before the show.” She rolled backwards off the sofa, landing in a crouch that made me wonder how much time she spent around her cats. I looked at Thing One; he looked back, chewing on the rabbit’s ear.

Part 3    table of contents  

They got to the System half an hour before the house lights were scheduled to go out, Kel had been hopping all over the place since they left her house. She kept saying Brett wanted to see her so she found the stage manager, a woman named Guigere, and produced a backstage pass from one of her many pockets.

“Hi Kellie dear, how have you been?” The woman asked.

“I’ve been fine. Where’s Brett, he wanted to see me before the show began.”

“He’s by the dressing rooms, dear.” She said. “Who’s your handsome friend?”

Kel turned back to Pendergast; he’d been so silent she’d almost forgotten he was there. Not that forgetting a man like him was even possible, not with that aura. “This is Pendergast.”

“Good evening, ma’am.” He said, shaking the offered hand.

“Good evening to you as well.” Guigere said, holding onto his hand longer than was necessary. “Enjoy the show.”

“Come on,” Kel said softly, tugging his sleeve before sliding her hand down and into his.

...

“Brett!” Kel called and Brett poked his head out from behind a half-closed door.

His hair was pulled into a ponytail that gave him the illusion of having short hair (I liked it better long) and he was dressed in period clothing for the show which did look well on him. He gave me a mock bow and tried to pull Kel into a twirl but stopped when he realized we were holding hands.

Brett’s eyes shot up to my own and then back down to mine and Kel’s clasped hands. “So...does this mean you guys are together?”

I looked at Kel and she looked up at me, I didn’t see that loneliness any more and that alone made me happy. I looked at our hands, gave hers a squeeze and she squeezed back.

“Yes,” I said.

“We’re together.” Kel finished and I felt a weight lift from my shoulders I hadn’t even known was there. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Nigel’s coming down to visit.” Brett chirped.

“And you couldn’t tell me this on the phone? I mean I’m happy he’s coming to see us again but—”

“Oh,” Brett said. “I could have told you on the phone but I knew you were going to make Ally here tag along and I wanted to see if he’d asked you out yet.”

“Manipulative bastard.” Kel said, trying to hide a smile.

“I know.” He grinned. “There was something else I was gonna tell you but I’ll just wait till after the show. You had better find seats.”

“Yeah, good luck Brett.”

“Break a leg, my friend.” I said, smiling slightly myself and he winked at me.

...

Kel led me back into the auditorium still holding my hand; we took our seats stage left near the front. A moment after the house lights went out Kel leaned gently into my side and my arm automatically found its way around her shoulders. To my surprise (and the ardeur’s delight), she lifted up in her seat and kissed my cheek before sitting back down and putting her attention completely on the show.

The play was about a gathering of the National Mystery Solvers League for their first annual banquet to induct one of three finalists into the NMS Hall of Fame. Brett portrayed Nathan Wimberley, the president of NMS, who had a hatred for the vice president. When one of the finalists was introduced to be the great grand-nephew of Sherlock Holmes, an actress bounded onto the stage chanting; “Up with Watson! Down with Holmes!”

The new character was introduced as Jenny Watson, great granddaughter to Sherlock’s partner. She claimed that Holmes had not been the actual master detective, but had been nothing more than a figurehead for her great grandfather. She then proceeded to march around the stage; “Up with Watson! Down with Holmes!”

At my side, Kel laughed along with the rest of the audience and looked up at me to see if I was laughing too. I had a sudden urge to be spontaneous and I pulled her a little tighter to my side and kissed the top of her head gently. She slipped her arm inside my suit coat and hugged me to her, turning her focus back to the show.

The altercation between ‘Watson’ and ‘Holmes’ had been solved by Brett’s character, who then announced the winner of the hall of fame induction to be Foster Holmes. Suddenly the stage lights went out, there was a scream from on stage and when the lights came back on, Nathan Wimberley was dead with a knife sticking out of his back.

The audience gasped. The stage lights went out once again and the house lights came back on; intermission.

...

Pendergast was more engaging, more outwardly affectionate than her first impression had told her he would be, and Kel was thankful for that, his arm around her shoulder was a welcome weight to her tired body. The heat of him against her side was even more welcome in the cold air conditioned auditorium; she wasn’t cold at all sitting so close to him.

“You guys look comfortable.” Suddenly Brett was leaning over the row of seats in front of them. “What did you think of the first act?” He demanded eyes bright with exhilaration.

“You did quite well.” Pendergast told him.

“Dude, that was so funny,”

“I know. I mean the accents, did they sound British or muddy? It’s hard to tell when you’re speaking and not really listening to what’s being said.”

Pendergast nodded slightly. “They were accurate enough to be acceptable.”

“Great! Oh before I forget,” He leaned over the seats and whispered into Pendergast’s ear so quietly that Kel couldn’t hear. “That okay with you?”

He nodded again, looking relieved. “Yes, that is fine. Thank you.”

“Not a problem.” Brett said. “Kel let me borrow you for a minute...”

Part 4    table of contents  

“Oh before I forget,” Brett lent over the seats in front of me and put his mouth against my ear. “I’ll tell her about the ardeur, so don’t worry about it. She won’t say no to you, but she’ll be more at ease if I give her the heads up first.” He whispered. “That okay with you?”

I nodded. Brett was going to tell her about the ardeur for me, that knowledge took a different kind of weight from my shoulders, leaving me relieved. “Yes, that is fine. Thank you.”

“Not a problem.” Brett said. “Kel let me borrow you for a minute...”

I stretched my legs out as far as I could in the narrow space between the rows of seats, cracked my knuckles because my hands felt a little stiff. A moment later, Kel hopped over my outstretched legs and landed lightly in her seat, leaning against my side again. It took me a second to notice she was gazing up at me.

“What is on your mind?” I asked; we still had a few minutes before the second act would begin.

“So you’re an albino and an incubus?” She murmured, my heart skipped a beat and I started to pull away. She caught my hand. “I’m sorry, that was mean. I was trying to make a joke, guess I’m bad at it when I’m not insanely happy. Don’t be mad at me, please.”

“I’m not mad,” I said slowly, trying to decide if I was or not, and I wasn’t. “I’ve never heard the ardeur put that way...”

“Then I’ll never say it that way again.” She promised and again I kissed the top of her head. “Besides, ardeur is French for ‘the heat’. I want to see how hot I can make you.”

I grinned and lowered my mouth to her ear, kissed it softly. “Be careful what you promise me.” I warned.

Her hand slid over my inner thigh and I warmed instantly. Not the ardeur, just my natural, sexual heat. “I think I know what I’m getting myself into Aloysius.”

Once again the house lights went out, the curtain opened. The second act had begun, but I wasn’t paying attention to the show any more. I was studying Kel, her reactions, the way she breathed and smiled. I focused on the way her hand massaged my leg and how very warm she was against my side and under my arm. As long as Brett didn’t ask me any direct questions, I figured I’d be fine. Jenny Watson was the killer anyway, what more did I need to know?

...

Hours later, Kel fed her cats from a tuna can she hadn’t managed to finish off herself. Aside from Thing One and Thing Two, she was alone; her stereo played the local country station on a low volume. It was too late to listen to any rock because it would only keep her awake.

She crushed the pills her doctor had prescribed and spooned them into some banana pudding to eat while she watched TV. Kel had never been able to take her pills any other way after almost choking on a handful of Skittles when she was eight. It had been a stupid dare from her brother, now she couldn’t even swallow jell-o whole, she had to swish it between her teeth until it became a liquid.

When the pudding was gone she downed a soda and brushed her teeth before crawling in bed, the pills had added to her drowsiness and it was pushing midnight. Her date with Pendergast had gone better than great, it had actually been awesome, not that she had much to compare it to. She hadn’t even date all that much in high school, so much more mature than her classmates, dating hadn’t been something she was interested in. Her record with the opposite sex was only five months, and for two of those months she had been in Tennessee with her brother.

However, Pendergast had put her completely at ease and she had felt familiar with his presence, his aura. It wasn’t that he was handsome, or his manners or that he didn’t know she was sick or even his reported sex magic that she could not wait to test for herself. It was all those things and that he was as lonely as she was, as unhappy; though he hid it so well she wouldn’t have noticed had she not been so well at hiding it herself. It was that he was willing to try to be happy and not wallow in his own state of melancholy, he wanted to be with someone again and he had picked her. That made her cheerful and then it became a circle of happiness and belonging. If just standing next to him gave her these heady feelings in her heart and soul, she couldn’t wait for the sex...

Kel turned off the bedside lamp. Her last memory before falling asleep was of Pendergast leaning over her, his hands resting gently on her shoulders while he touched their lips together. She slept until noon the next day; a smile on her face the entire time.

Part 5    table of contents  

I promised to see Kel the next day, and then gently kissed her on the lips. She’d tasted of strawberry lip-gloss. The kiss hadn’t lasted long but it had stirred the ardeur, had made her smile. She had kissed me back, arms around my neck and standing on her tiptoes. I had not wanted to leave, but I knew I couldn’t stay; practical and moral reasons stood in my way. I wanted to crawl into her bed, lay beside her, hold her in my arms for the remainder of the night. It wasn’t the ardeur that gave me those feelings it was her and my now unquenchable need for companionship.

For the first time in a long while, I was relaxed enough to sleep without resorting to mediation first to soothe the mental strain on my mind. I had undressed, laid back to think and then I woke in the morning completely refreshed.

...

“Have you ever played Devil May Cry?” Kel asked me.

“I beg your pardon?” I asked, petting Thing Two, who was much more loving than Thing One.

“Most people ask ‘what?’ you know.” She teased and before I could reply she changed her voice to sound like my own. “I’m not most people.” She smiled and winked at me. “I asked if you’d ever played Devil May Cry, it’s a PlayStation 2 game.”

She pointed to a poster hanging above her TV. The poster itself was completely black but off to one side stood a silver haired man dressed in a blood red leather trench coat, a bullet-proof-vest visible beneath it. The man had one hand in his pocket and the other hand was holding a large semi-auto gun, pointing it at the viewer. The other side of the poster had Devil May Cry outlined in red with a silhouette of a woman holding two guns above her head.

“That’s Dante Sparda,” She told me. “He’s the son of the legendary Dark Knight Sparda, or so the story goes. He’s the main character of the game, Dante I mean, not Sparda. Anyway, the graphics sucked in the first game, but DMC2 is great graphic wise and game play is pretty straight forward. Would you like to learn how to play, I could show you the first level and then let you take it from there...”

I looked up at her, she was wearing green sweatpants that were meant to be worn by a male and a shirt that read—“I’m only wearing black until they make something darker.” It looked a few years old, but as much as I had seen of her clothing, it seemed to be the only thing that drew attention to her feminine figure. As to her taste in underwear, currently I had no idea, maybe she wore boxers too and there wasn’t any hint of a bra-strap on her shoulders. She dressed like a man, had it not been for the full lips and the glasses that emphasized her very womanly eyelashes, the look might have worked. Kel would never be supermodel beautiful, but she was girl-next-door cute.

“I’ve never played a videogame,” I told her as Thing Two curled up in my lap; the cat was fat and very well fed.

“Depending on the game and the console, it’s not very hard. PC games are harder than most because each control scheme is different. I’ve only played a few Xbox games and even fewer Game Cube, so I’m not a good judge in those. PlayStation has always been my system.” Kel looked at me again as she reached to turn the system on. “Do you want to try it?”

“I guess I shall give it an endeavor.” I said.

She bounded over to me and captured my mouth with her own quickly, I could feel her wanting to linger, but wanting to teach me how to play this game even more. Kel pulled away and sat in the floor in front of my legs.

“There’s room for you on the sofa,” I said and licked the lip-gloss from my lips.

“I know, but I’ve always played this game sitting on the floor... I’ve never beat this thing; I’m still stuck in ‘Dante Must Die Mode,’ that is basically really fucking hard.”

It was the first time I had heard her swear and I doubted it would be the last time. The game’s load screen came up and she frowned.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Oh nothing, I was just wishing they’d remake this game for the Wii.”

“The ‘wee’? What is that?”

She laughed, falling back against my legs and I ruffled her blue curls. “Not ‘wee’ as in pee Aloysius, ‘W-I-I.’ As in the Nintendo Wii once called the Revolution. It’s a new system that uses a motion sensitive controller, in other words, if the control doesn’t move then neither does the character in the game. You’ve seriously never heard of it? It’s been all over Attack of the Show for weeks since its release in November.”

“I have seriously not heard of it.” I said sincerely. “And what is ‘the attack of the show?’ I’ve not heard of that either.”

Kel pressed her face into my knee, still laughing as another screen came up on her TV. “AOTS is a show on G4TV all about video games, music and movies; it is pretty much news for nerds and gamers. I’ll show you sometime when it’s on, it can be interesting. They were talking about a Rolls Royce convertible the other day and I know you would have liked that.”

She was unlike anyone I had ever met, sitting against my legs and teaching me about her world, her generation. I suddenly realized how much older I was, but she didn’t care. Kel treated me like she treated Brett, her cats and the many stuffed animals. She treated me like an equal, no questions asked. I wondered how her childhood had been, about her parents and I silently thanked them for bringing her into my life.

I lent down and kissed the top of her head, resting my chin there as Devil May Cry2 began. There was a montage of scenes from the game, mostly of Dante and a red-haired woman and then footage of game play that showed him doing back flips in midair. Kel selected New Game and a cinematic began, the scene talked about Dante, named him a demon slayer. He spoke to the red-haired woman, a single sentence but I got the sense of a supremely arrogant man.

Kel handed the controller to me, and I took it, holding it like I had seen her hold it, one thumb on the joystick and the other poised over the X button. The first level began with another cinematic in which Dante jumped from a roof to land several stories below unharmed, the controller vibrated and I almost dropped it in surprise.

“The first mission is relatively simple Aloysius,” Kel said, coming up on the couch to sit beside me. “X is jump, triangle is the sword, O is for evade, and square is to shoot. Give it a try, you can jump and shoot at the same time and he’ll stay in the air until the jump loses velocity. You can use the sword in midair too.”

I tried everything she told me, the game was surprisingly responsive.

“You see that little statue? Smash it with the sword, it has a red orb inside.”

“What’s a red orb?” I did as she told me to.

“It’s money, red orbs are very good, you get them when you kill devils too.” She pointed at the screen. “Go up to that wall, face it and press the O button.”

I did and Dante ran up the side of the building, jumped into the air and did another back flip. Kel smiled at my side, kissed my cheek.

“See? You’re learning. The missions are timed by the way, the quicker your time, the better your Devil Hunter Rank will be. You see that alcove, stand just inside and jump to the top; there’ll be a piece of a blue orb.”

I did just that and a screen popped up at the bottom, “A fragment with vital energy. Four pieces make a whole Blue Orb.”

“Great, now see ahead?” Kel asked and I nodded. “You’re about to have your first battle with devils, use the guns and if they get too close, you’ll need to use the sword. Don’t let them touch you and you’ll be fine.”

My first devils were skeletons in metal torture suits, I shot each of them, then used to sword. It took me less than thirty seconds and the next devils I fought were birds. I had to stay on the ground to shoot them and it took longer not to use the sword.

“Let me show you the secret room where you can get more red orbs,” Kel said and I gave her the controller, my hands were vaguely sore from the vibration. “I’ll kill the devils in here, okay?”

“Yes, I want to see how you play this game.” I told her.

Secret Room Level 1 appeared on the screen, and Kel’s fingers flew across the buttons as she easily dispatched maybe fifty of those skeletons in less than twenty seconds, then fifty more appeared. Suddenly Dante wasn’t a silver haired man any more, but was now a red devil with wings, using lightening to kill the other devils.

“How did you make him do that?” I asked, watching the screen.

“Devil Trigger,” She said as if it explained everything. “I had to wait until the bar turned yellow so I could show you.” She handed the controller back to me; the secret room was conquered.

“No,” I said. “Let me watch you play, I do not think games are something I will be good at any time soon.”

“You were doing fine,” She encouraged.

“Yes, but I would rather watch.”

She shrugged. “Okay then Aloysius, maybe latter you can try a more user friendly game. I have a few racing games and a few button-mashers.”

I didn’t know what a button-masher was. “What ever you wish to do Kel.”

“Be careful what you promise me,” She sang.

Dante was killed in a boss battle, but still it only took her a little over half an hour until she had reached the fifth mission. I was impressed. I wished I knew more about games so that I could show Constance; expose her to something fun and harmless. I decided I would introduce them, I thought maybe Kel’s happy-go-lucky attitude would rub off on Constance a little. It was worth a try.

Part 6    table of contents  

Kel admired Pendergast’s willingness to learn her favorite game and teaching him was a blast. So, oddly enough, was just sitting beside him on the sofa after he’d asked her to play DMC2 for him. The pleased look on his face when he defeated the first round of devils had been a Kodak moment, and she wished she had a camera.

She left the couch to take out the game disc and replace it with another. “What would you like to play now?” She asked.

Pendergast smiled at her, lord he looked out of place next to all her brightly colored stuffies. “I think you meant what would I like you to play for me now?”

She shook her head. “Actually, I’m bored of them right now. I only ever play about once a week or so. What do you want to do?”

He put on a quizzical look, like he was really thinking about what ever it was he wanted to do. “I am not sure.” He said. “Watching you play that game was entertaining... But I had best be on my way home.”

Kel was silent for just a short moment. “What if I said that I didn’t want you to go home? What if I want you to stay here?”

Pendergast’s intense and beautiful eyes looked into hers. “Do you?”

She sighed, smiling once again and he realized she was playing a different kind of game with him. “I don’t know what I want Aloysius.” She murmured. “Yes I want you to stay, but if you want to go home—if you have to go home, I’m not going to stop you. So because you were going to make it my decision, I’m going to make it my decision to hand over said decision to you. So what do you want Aloysius?”

She saw him lick his lips. “I want to stay.” He said softly.

“Woot,” She said and he raised an eyebrow. “It means ‘yay’.”

“Oh, did you make that word up?”

Kel shook her head. “No, this kid that used to run around with me and Brett started saying it when we were in high school, I’ve been using it ever since.”

“It reminds me of an owl.”

She shook her head again. “Owls don’t woot, they hoot.”

...

Kel came back to the sofa, but this time she didn’t sit beside me, she took Thing Two’s spot in my lap and I held her against my chest. The look in her eyes was needy, not hyper like it had been a few hours ago and I remembered her fast metabolism, and knew the sugar was fully out of her system. Because of that she had grown suddenly downhearted and she wanted me to hold her, so, I did. A moment later, I gathered my courage to me and kissed her, taking my time to lick her lips tenderly.

She relaxed against me so completely that I hadn’t even known she was tensed before that moment. “You like my lip-gloss don’t you?” She asked.

“I’ve always liked strawberries,” I told her.

“Do you have any family?” She wanted to know suddenly.

I hesitated to answer. “Not any more, my mother, father and brother are dead.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, just because Diogenes was inactive did not mean he was dead, but I didn’t want her to know about the danger he posed. “Do you have family left?”

She nodded against my shoulder. “My parents are divorced and my brother over-dosed on O.C. a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. “Were you close to him?”

“He taught me everything, even though we didn’t live together by the time I was old enough to talk. I saw him every summer until—”

“Shhh, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” I told her softly.

“There’s a difference between wanting to and being able to, Aloysius. I want to, but I’m not able, not without crying.” She said. “I hate crying.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “If it upsets you, we can ease into that topic. Okay? Tell me what that poster represents.”

Her eyes followed my gesture to another black poster by her TV; this one said UMBRELLA CORPORATION in bold white letters. I had seen the same poster on a smaller scale at Brett’s apartment once.

“In 1998, my brother brought home a game called Resident Evil.” She explained. “It was about zombies and it scared me so bad I couldn’t sleep. Last year, Resident Evil 4 came out; it’s under that pile somewhere. Anyway, the game wasn’t about zombies but a parasite called a ‘plaga’. But the thing the games had in common was that Umbrella Corporation was still the antagonist. In the first Resident Evil, a biological weapon called the T-virus escaped from one of Umbrella Corp’s labs. It was carried by rats that then bit people and spread the virus, resulting in zombies. In game 4, the plagas were stolen by a researcher of an Umbrella Corp branch in Spain, I can’t remember if he was going to use it as blackmail or give it to another company. But the sample was then stolen from him by a plaga-infected village member. That incident ended in zombie-like invasion of the local villages.”

“That’s very intriguing,” I said, amazed she remembered something so involved. “Did you buy the game because your brother had the original?”

Kel shook her head against the side of my neck and ardeur stirred minutely. “No, I bought the game to prove to myself I wasn’t afraid of zombies any more.”

“Are you still afraid of them now?”

She smiled up at me. “I can kill four of them with one sniper-shot.”

Again I was impressed with her gaming ability. “Really, only one shot?”

In answer, she kissed my neck, remaining over my pulse for a full minute. My breath caught, and when she left my neck, she moved to my lips. I knew she tasted her own lip-gloss, teasing it from my lips as I had done to her. The ardeur blazed fiercely behind my eyes and she suddenly pulled back from me, hands on my shoulders.

“Aloysius?” She asked. “What was that? Your skin—”

“Don’t be afraid, it’s the ardeur. You’ve woken it, but I control it, not the other way around. Just... Don’t be afraid.”

Kel kissed me, and this time I felt her tongue part my lips slowly before she again pulled back. “I’m not afraid,” She told me. “You’re not a spider, so I’m not afraid.”

I opened my eyes, knowing their color had changed, had become darker because I could see them reflected in her own. “You’re afraid of spiders?” I asked lamely.

She nodded. “Spiders trump zombies any day. They scuttle and you can’t exactly shoot them.”

“I like how your mind works,” I said suddenly and without censoring myself. “I like how completely random you are, that you say what you think at any given moment. It’s endearing and refreshing and I admire it. I admire you Kel.”

She smiled at me, caressed my jaw lightly, took her hands down the side of my neck and began to remove my tie. I put my hands over her own.

“Wait, let me cool off first.”

She raised one eyebrow at me. “I don’t understand, Aloysius.”

I licked my lips again, this time I wasn’t searching for the taste of strawberries. “If...sex is your intention, I don’t want the first time to be because the ardeur influenced your actions or mine. I want it to happen naturally, I want it to be sincere. I need it to be sincere or otherwise it means nothing to me.”

“And you need it to mean something; it has to be important to keep you from feeling guilty.” She murmured, hands resting on her stomach and not touching me.

I sighed. “Yes, that’s exactly it, Kel. That’s exactly how it feels.”

Kel slid out of my lap and stood before me, she kissed my cheek, barely touching her lips to my skin. “Take all the time you need. Do you mind if I take a shower?”

“Go ahead. I’m going to sit on your porch.” I said and pulled my coat on. “By the time you’re out, I should be thoroughly cooled down.”

She smile, went to her bathroom and then I had the next half hour to myself.

Part 7    table of contents  

There was no guarantee that Kel would get to sleep with Pendergast that night. But she shaved her legs in the shower anyway, one of those just-in-case things. When she got out of the shower, she rubbed baby oil on her skin to keep it from getting itchy like it often did in the winter. She stood in front of the mirror and combed her blue hair straight back, mimicking the way Pendergast wore his hair and brushed her teeth for the second time that day.

Kel wrapped the towel around her body and quickly dashed into her room in an attempt to avoid the cold air. Once there she found her favorite pair of boxers, she had given up on panties her sophomore year. They always tried to pretend they were thongs; she had eventually grown annoyed and had begun wearing boxers because ‘going commando’ was just too cold for Maine winters.

For a moment she stood in front of her closet, trying to decide between pajamas or just a long T-shirt. What would Pendergast find more alluring? Would he have more fun removing the pajamas or the T-shirt? Kel reached in and grabbed something at random. When she opened her eyes, she held a black Harry Potter shirt. Well actually, it was a Voldemort shirt. It had the snake climbing out of the mouth of the skull and Death Eaters was embossed at the bottom. She slipped it on and the hem ended just above the red and grey boxers.

Dressed now, Kel slipped her feet into her green Converse and went out on her porch where Pendergast sat on the steps. She knelt behind him.

...

I felt arms encircle my waist from behind, then a careful pressure against the collar of my coat and I knew that was where she had chosen to kiss me. I let my weight rest against her and she held me easily, something I hadn’t expected from someone so much smaller than me. Kel was just full of surprises. I breathed in and caught the scent of baby oil, strawberries (always strawberries) and vanilla.

“Did you enjoy your shower?” I asked.

“Yes, it’s freezing out here.” She murmured into my coat.

“It’s not so bad,” A thought struck me. “You are wearing clothes, correct?”

Kel laughed, kissed the back of my neck again. “Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

I turned, she only had on a shirt and—“You wear boxers?”

Kel rolled her eyes at me. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, it’s very believable.” I said and opened one side of my coat for her, she hastily moved into the heat trapped there. I kissed the top of her head; found that her hair was still wet.

“Are you ready to go inside now?” She asked and I could hear her teeth chattering.

“Do you get cold easily?” I asked.

Kel had to lean back to glare at me. “Yes.”

“Very well, I’m ready to go inside then.” I stood, still holding her in my arms, prepared to carry her inside and she yelped in surprise. “Did I scare you?”

Again she glared at me, but it was in a playful manner. “No, I just like to be warned when someone decides they’re going to pick me up.” She seemed to consider. “I’ve hit people for less.”

I arched my brows at her, her playful mood affecting me. “And are you going to hit me?”

She lifted herself enough to speak with her lips touching mine. “Not unless you ask me to.” She set her teeth to me and I moved my head back.

“I’ll drop you.” I warned.

“No you won’t.”

“And why is that?”

She smiled. “Because I’ll sic Thing One on you.”

I smiled back. “Kel... that is a very persuasive argument.”

“You bet your very sexy ass it is.” She said and then we both laughed while I carried her inside.

...

She hated to be carried around like an infant or sick child, but she knew Pendergast’s intentions were not just to tuck her in to bed and read her a story. No his intentions were more adult, not that Kel didn’t like the occasional bedtime story, maybe she’d even read him one.

...

Kel had painted her room a neutral shade of brown that matched her bedspread and bookshelves. There were more posters in her bedroom too, my favorite pictured a cat and it read at the bottom—“Devotion, nothing says ‘I love you’ like a dead rodent delivered to your pillow at 2a.m.”

Speaking of felines... Have you ever noticed that when you’re about to put down that cat you’ve been petting for the last hour, when they’re three feet from the ground they suddenly decide you’re not moving fast enough? They jump out of your arms and usually land with a thud. Kel did that now, suddenly springing out of my arms to fall on her bed, and the movement shook my balance a little. But it was enough to make me fall on my face beside her, the next thing I knew, she was sitting in the middle of my back, holding me down with her slight weight.

“Were you a cat in your previous life?” I demanded.

“What?” She asked, laughing a little. “Take the pillow out of your mouth so I can hear you.”

I lifted my head and found my face level with a miniature cheetah. “Good lord woman,” I exclaimed. “How many stuffed animals do you own?”

“Hundreds,” She said against my ear, then kissed it.

Kel started to push her fingers into my shirt collar and I pulled a cat move of my own; spinning out from under her and ending up on my back on the bed.

“Maybe we were both cats in our former lives.” She said thoughtfully. Then her hand moved up my shirt front and clasped the tail of my tie. “Can I take this off now?”

“Don’t you want to take my coat of first?” I asked.

Kel kissed me softly. “I’ll get to that later.” Her hands moved to the knot of the tie and slipped it down, pulled it off and laid it between us. She sat up, sitting cross-legged by my hip. I let my hand rest on her knee and she smiled.

“Where do you like to be touched?” She asked, settling her hand over mine.

I honestly didn’t know how to answer that and I wasn’t sure what she was asking. Did she mean how I liked to be touched sexually or how I liked to be touched in general? I did the only thing I could think of, I turned the question back on her. “How do you like to be touched?”

She gave me a smile I’d never seen from her before; it was sly and somehow straightforward at the same time. Her hand squeezed mine. “What you’re doing now is perfect.” She said. “I like to be caressed; the palms of my hands are sensitive. Right now, I like how you kiss... But you didn’t answer my question, Aloysius.”

...

It was another of those instances where he seemed wholly out of place, his pale hair and even paler skin in stark contrast to her deep blue pillow case, to the black and gold comforter. It was odd, but he somehow seemed to belong among all her things. The stuffed animals, the posters of vampires and angels and avatars, it all seemed to compliment his personality at the same time it differed from everything she had come to think of as him.

“But you didn’t answer my question, Aloysius.”

Pendergast lifted himself slowly to sit in front of her, took her hands and placed them on the back of his neck, directing her fingers into his hair. He looked into her eyes, and then moved her fingers to the buttons of his shirt.

“Like this,” He murmured. “I like this...”

Kel let her hands be guided along the buttons of his starchy white shirt and together they pulled the garment open, there was another white T-shirt beneath it. She pushed both the shirt and coat off Pendergast’s shoulders, moved both of them along with his tie to the floor at the foot of her bed. She kissed him, pushing her tongue slowly past his lips while her hands went to the edge of his shirt; suddenly, he stayed her hands with his own.

“Wait,” He said. “I have to tell you something.”

Her eyes widened. “Please don’t tell me you’re married.”

“No, not any more, not for years.” He said and laid a hand on the side of her face. “It’s about... what’s under my shirt...”

“Other than your skin?” She teased, tried to push the shirt up and again he stayed her hands.

“I’m disfigured, Kellie,” He said, letting go of her hands and she pushed the shirt up his pale chest. “You see? I’m damaged goods... I’ll keep the shirt on like I always do, so you don’t have to touch—”

Kel kissed him fiercely, holding his jaw between both hands. Then she pulled the shirt the rest of the way off, leaving him bare from the waist up. The paleness of his skin was beautiful, but when Kel saw the ‘disfigurement’ she only sighed. His pale, muscled chest was covered with scars, over his heart, side and abdomen; they were ashier than the rest of his chest. They reminded her of cracks in a marble statue, and she slowly took her fingers over every centimeter of the raised flesh. Then she sat back on her heels and studied his reaction, like he was studying hers.

Part 8    table of contents  

Kel’s fingers caressed my scars slowly, touching each one and exploring the sensitivity of my damaged flesh. No one had ever touched my scars that way before, never taken their time with me. Everyone I had ever been with, every person I had ever fed the ardeur with had taken one look at my chest and asked me to keep the scars covered. Everyone...Helen had been dead for years by the time I was first left scarred and I was sure she wouldn’t have wanted to touch me either; she had loved me but... I can’t explain the reasoning even to myself; I just know she wouldn’t have wanted me any more.

Kel kissed me again, gently this time and then she put her arms carefully around my neck and hugged me close. “You are not damaged goods, Aloysius. How can you even think that?”

I held her at arms length, tears fell slowly from her eyes and I licked them away. “Don’t cry,” I whispered, kissed her lips. “Please, I don’t want you to cry because of me.”

She framed my face with her hands. “You’re beautiful to me, Aloysius; the scars are a part of who you are. I’m crying because they bother you, not me. ...Your shield has been cracked but not destroyed; it only shows how strong you are. You understand that, right?”

I couldn’t believe she didn’t care about the scars, but I looked deep into her eyes, the windows to the soul, and the truth was there. She didn’t care, not at all. It was refreshing to be with someone again, not to have to hold back, to show all of my skin. To ...be me, for the first time in years I got to be myself, I didn’t have to hide who and what I was. Not with her, this strange, engaging, constantly sugar-high young woman.

I found that I was smiling at her, while she sat pressed to my side with her arms still resting around my shoulders. She smiled back at me, stroked my cheek. I felt something stirring in me, it wasn’t the ardeur. I didn’t know what it was, only that I had felt it before, years ago. I couldn’t put a name to the feeling.

I hugged her to me, pulled her into my lap and she put her head on my shoulder. I don’t know how long we stayed that way, in each others arms and sharing our breath. I could feel the beat of her heart against my chest, beating steadily and strongly. I knew my own heartbeat wasn’t the same, I could hear it in my ears, could feel my blood pumping franticly.

Kel’s hands started stroking my hair and she kissed my cheek again, pulling back to look at me. “Are you okay now, Aloysius?” She asked.

I licked my lips, swallowed. “Yes, thank you Kel.” I was suddenly tired and I lent back against the pillows.

“Sleepy?”

“Yes,” I said softly, felt her stretching out atop me then moving to my side.

“I am too.” She whispered then she rose up, took off her shoes and threw them in a corner. “No shoes in my bed, off with ‘em if you plan to stay.”

My eyes had drifted closed, now they open and I rose up, removed my shoes and my belt, set them with my shirt and coat before lying back down. Kel reached over me and set her glasses on the bedside table, crawled under her sheets. My eyes closed again.

“Aloysius?”

“Yes?” I asked.

“You can sleep under here with me, where it’s warm.” She said.

“I know. I was waiting for you to say you wanted me to.”

“Well, Aloysius,” She said. “Turn off the light because I want you under these sheets with me.”

I smiled to myself and turned out the light. For a moment, the both of us were still, completely contained to our own side of the bed then she turned to face me and set her hands on my bare chest. I put my arms around her and pulled her closer so that we touched from the waist up.

Kel kissed my chin. “Aloysius, will you tell me more about the ardeur?”

...

Pendergast was drifting off to sleep while she debated putting her body against his. It didn’t look like sex was a possibility tonight, not after he’d become so shaken about showing her the scars. Kel really didn’t understand why they bothered him so much; she’d just be happy the original wounds hadn’t killed her. Finally she gave in, turned to him and put her hands over the scars, hoping that he would get the message that they didn’t disturb her like they did him. He pulled her closer a moment later, resting his chin in her hair.

Still, there was something that nagged at her. That ardeur was a complete mystery, when it had ‘woken’ earlier his skin had grown so hot that it had hurt to touch him directly. But she still didn’t know what it was or what it meant.

Kel had to know, had to understand. She tilted her head back and kissed his chin softly. “Aloysius, will you tell me more about the ardeur?”

He shifted in her arms. “What...what do you want to know?”

“Anything you can tell me,” She said. “How did you know you had it? When? How does it work?”

She could actually feel him thinking about his answer, what words to use. She felt his hand stroke through her hair, then his lips on hers.

“When you called me an incubus, you were not far from the truth.” He said softly but there was something in his tone that made her shiver with pleasure.

“I think what I’m asking Aloysius, is if the ardeur is sexually-oriented or if you can ‘partake’ in sexual acts without waking it?”

“Do you care to find out?” He asked, taking one of her hands in his own and placing it on his abdomen.

Part 9    table of contents  

“Do you care to find out?” I asked and put her hand on my stomach a few centimeters above my navel, spreading her fingers with my own.

Her hand squirmed in mine when she felt my skin heat but a moment later she realized it wasn’t the ardeur, it was just me. I smiled slowly at her and started to slip her hand down, over my navel and to the waistband of my trousers. I let go, and her hand went a little lower, stopped on my zipper and I sighed.

“See, it did not wake,” I said, lifted her face toward mine and kissed her.

“Do you always dance around the questions people ask you?” She challenged me.

I frowned, a little disappointed that I couldn’t distract her from what she wanted to know. I should be content that she wanted to know more about me, but I wasn’t sure I even wanted her to. Kel caressed my abdomen, fingers tickling the hair just under my belly button.

“When I can,” I told her. “It’s a very bad habit, but one I find very hard to break.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

I sighed and not the joyful, elated kind. “If you want to know, I suppose I shall. I knew I had the ardeur because it’s a family curse—or gift depending on which side of the family you asked. My mother thought it was a gift while my Great Aunt viewed it as a curse. I was born with the power, but I didn’t begin to use the ardeur until the month before I went to college in England. You know how incubi do their deed?”

She nodded against my chest; I think she was listening to my heart. “There’s a book over there, somewhere under that pile.”

“The ardeur is the same, but it has its drawbacks. It’s capable of inflaming passion, inspiring love and devotion, addicting people to its effects, and even shaping people into one another's ideal lover. It has to be fed by sexual acts or it will become dangerous to anyone close to me. When my brother had his power awakened... he almost died. The...way he was brought into his power was too overwhelming and the ardeur became a fever, nearly killing him.”

She kissed my chest, touched the tip of her tongue to one of my scars and I quivered. “Has something like that ever happened to you, Aloysius?”

I shook my head and pushed my fingers into her hair gently. “My first experience with my own ardeur was quite painful, but I was left whole. And my ardeur has never been as dangerous as my brother’s, compared to his power, I have nothing.” A sudden thought occurred to me, something I had forgotten to tell her. “When you were a child in Tennessee, did you ever catch lightening-bugs in a jar?”

“Yep, with my brother.” She murmured sleepily into my skin.

“I take that you enjoyed it,” I said. “Was it that you had caught them or their glow?”

“A little of both, I liked catching them and they glowed green. I love the color green.”

“I’ll glow for you Kellie.” I felt her smile, a teasing smile, like I had just told a joke. “I’ll glow brighter than a lightening-bug, for you I’ll glow like a nymph ensnared in a jar.” I pulled her level with me, kissed her, forced my tongue past her lips and tasted her like I’d wanted to all day. “I’ll glow for you. Please Kel, touch me and I’ll show you how I glow...”

...

When it came to glows, lightening-bugs had nothing on Aloysius Pendergast who lit up her room like a million glow sticks. He told her the ardeur was still sleeping, only vaguely aware that it was about to be fed, and then he’s dropped his shield. Kel had never had the sensation of sexual energy crawling over her skin before and she had grown dizzy, closing her eyes. When she’d opened them again, he was still lying beside her but now a radiance rose off his skin like steam after a hot shower. He directed her hands back to the waistband of his pants and she unzipped him, touching his soft boxers underneath. She felt him heat, felt the muscles under her hand twitch then become hard and she pushed her hands inside to touch his skin.

He sighed, pulled her to him for another kiss then lain back to watch her work and the glow of his own skin. A moment later, she watched as he slid his own hand down that flat, muscled belly of his and wrapped his hand around the tip if his penis. She moved to kneel at the end of the bed, pulling his pants and boxers off him as she did.

Kel returned to him, putting her hand over his own and squeezing. His hips moved a little and the next thing she knew, she was on her back with her legs wrapped around the backs of his knees.

“My turn,” He said, grinned.

...

The ardeur had always made me act a little different than I would under normal circumstances. I had to concentrate on how I treated her, focus on my want to be gentle and not let the ardeur reek havoc on my body and hers. So in order to keep my urges in line, I had to move slow and speak to her to make sure I was moving at her pace.

I kissed her neck, moved my lips to her ear, keeping my lower body away from hers as much as I could. “How do you feel about teeth and being bitten?”

Kel arched under my hands and bit my lower lip before she kissed me. I took that as permission to leave my mark on her neck. I started by kissing my way back to her collar bone, then up to her ear, and then the area in between. I kissed, licked and finally set my teeth to her skin, pulling with my incisors. I felt her hands move to the back of my head and push my mouth down so that I bit harder.

“Aloysius,” She murmured, her fingers tangled in my hair.

“Do you like this?” I whispered and my voice was hoarse to my own ears.

Kel captured my lips, sucked them. “Yes, Aloysius.”

My skin burned, the ardeur was raging in my blood. “Do you want me to keep going?”

Her hands slid down my chest and enveloped me, I moaned as I kissed her. “Yes, Aloysius, yes.”

I pushed her black T-shirt up with one hand and kissed along her flat tummy, surprised to see the beginning outlines of abdomen muscles. She touched the back of my head gently and I grazed her skin with my teeth, and then bit down. Her hand tightened on my hair.

“Ow,” I heard her murmur above me. “Ow.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “May I try something?”

“It depends on what you want to try,” She told me.

I kissed the bite one her stomach. “It’s a side power that is inside the ardeur. I should be able to take away pain and heal using the sexual energy.”

She nodded. “Right, because endorphins are a sexual chemical that makes things—including pain—feel good.”

“Yes,” I said. “May I try?”

Kel nodded and I lowered my shield a little more, watching her eyes light up.

Part 10    table of contents  

He couldn’t be human, not with that glow, not with those eyes and his coloring, but he wasn’t a vampire because she didn’t believe in them. But as to what he was, maybe an incubus or an angel. Because this—his gentle touch—was heaven.

She felt the air around him change, felt it become thick and heady. Then he touched his lips gently to the bite on her stomach, breathed out and she felt a tingling that had nothing to do with his hands on her. The next thing she knew, he was kissing her lips and hugging her to him, the bite no longer visible on her skin.

“It worked,” He said. “I’ve never used it on anyone but myself.”

Kel hugged him back, kissed his lips, chin and neck. “It’s not even sore. Is it only external wounds or—”

“Just external wounds I’m afraid.” She saw him eyeing her underneath him. “May I take your clothes off?”

Kel let her eyes roam over his pale body kneeling over her own, at his pubic hair that was somehow paler than the hair on his head, at the scars and at his muscles. Then lastly at his erection, large and thick and ready for her to touch him again.

“Yes, Aloysius, please.” She said, reaching out to him and again they kissed.

...

Kel had that same honey and milk skin tone that I had seen earlier everywhere, she didn’t have any tan lines or any blemishes. Her breasts were small and fit perfectly in my hands. Her skin was the same color everywhere but her nipples which were erect and pink and I wanted desperately to kiss them. I wanted to suck them, to leave my mark on them like I had left on her neck. But I also wanted to take my time, so I settled for putting my hands on them, pinching the nipples carefully with my fingers.

Kel’s hands moved over my shoulders and down my back as we kissed, her legs tangling around the back of mine. The ardeur had been sated within minutes of my entering her, it was easy to satisfy most of the time, but my body wasn’t satisfied yet. I kissed her hair as we moved against each other, our bodies joined if not our souls.

...

The feeling of Aloysius inside her was indescribable, for once in her young life she was at a loss for words and analogies. The softness of his skin, the power in his muscles... the absolute pleasure of his body inside her own... Words escaped her and she gave into to those instincts she usually kept barricaded in her mind. She bit and scratched at his skin like a cat in heat, wanting to mark him like he had her, needing to find someway to express the pleasure she was feeling and moving with his thrusts just wasn’t enough.

“Kellie,” He murmured and even though she hated the full version of her first name, the sound of it passing his lips was sweet. “Kellie,”

She kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Then the heat of his skin suddenly flared, too hot on her own skin and he moaned loudly, coming deep and hard inside her. She came herself, body lifting off the bed to get better contact with his. Then he fell to the side of her, smiling he gathered her in his arms.

Kel stretched languidly in his embrace and he licked the side of her neck. Her hand touched his left forearm, turned it toward her and she frowned.

“I didn’t notice this earlier,” She mumbled sleepily.

...

I laid still next to her, heart calming from a frantic beat to a steady pound. Kel stretched as I took my tongue happily across the side of her neck, licking off the sweat. I felt her fingers find another of my scars then she turned my arm to get a better look at it.

“I didn’t notice this earlier,” She mumbled. “Did...you do this yourself, Aloysius?”

I looked at my left forearm, at the scar so much fainter and neater than the others. “When my family was killed... I wasn’t myself, not at all. I tried to end it, to take my own life but I couldn’t do it, I didn’t want to any more, but by the time I realized this I had already lost a lot of blood.” I paused, seeing that night in my mind’s eye and I quickly banished the image away. “I was staying with my friend Charles, he found me and I was taken to a hospital before it was too late.”

Kel touched her lips to the scar and then to my own, I lingered in the kiss as long as she let me. Then she smiled. “Sweet dreams, Aloysius.” Another kiss and then she slept curled like a cat against my front.

Part 11    table of contents  

“You have a swing in your backyard?” Aloysius asked, he was dressed as he had been yesterday but his suit coat was inside, thrown over the back of her sofa so he only wore the winter jacket over his white shirt.

Kel wore a black leather jacket over her black sweatpants, she was under the impression that because she didn’t have to work, that she didn’t have to get dressed either. She had woken that morning to feel his lips at the bite on her neck, he had been using the ardeur to heal it and they had made love again before she’d talked him into going outside to play with her.

She hopped into the swing, standing in the seat then she jumped down so that she was sitting in it properly. “Yep, I love swings, not sure why though.”

He walked over to her, set his hands on the supports and gave it a little push before leaning down to kiss her. She smiled up at him, and like that she looked younger than she was, closer to sixteen than twenty-two. He suddenly felt very old, too old for her.

He wasn’t looking down at her, but over her head and into the trees and suddenly he felt her hands on his hips and then unzipping his trousers. Now he did look down at her, her hands pushing into his pants and pulling out his dick.

Finally he found his voice. “What are you doing?”

Kel grinned slyly at him. “I want to suck you off again,” She said and put her mouth on him.

She worked her way down the shaft until he was hard and too big for her to take him all the way. By that time she concentrated on the tip, teasing it with her tongue and very lightly with her teeth; he wasn’t circumcised and she had more to play with, more ways to please him. He put his hands in her blue hair and carefully guided her about his body, still looking down at her. She looked like a kid with a lollypop and again he felt too old; that thought was banished when her free hand suddenly stroked his balls and he came, hands moving to grip the swing.

Kel zipped him back up and then she rubbed her face lightly against the front of his pants. “Careful or I’ll melt all the snow.” He warned, voice weak. “I should be going,” He said at last.

Kel sighed, pushing at the ground with her feet. “I know,” She said. “But you’ll come back later right? I mean, the ardeur has to be fed?”

“It does,” He agreed.

“Obviously Brett wants you to feed it off of me now that Nigel’s gonna be around here for a bit. He’s liked that sweet emo kid since high school...”

Aloysius was silent, and then he knelt down in the snow and rested his hands on her knees. A moment later, Kel put her hands over his, smiling gently down into those silver eyes.

“I have to tell you something,” He said.

“Mmhm,”

“I...can’t love you, I made a promise years ago...after Helen’s—my wife—death, not to fall in love again.”

Kel kissed him suddenly, running a hand through his pale hair. “What makes you think I even want love Aloysius?” She asked softly. “I’ve never been in love before; I wouldn’t know love even if it bit me on the ass.” Not exactly the truth but he didn’t know about Ryan—RPK, that was hers and Brett’s secret and of course RPK’s.

“So then you didn’t love that young teacher in high school? Brett thought you did.”

Kel’s blood ran cold and she started to pull away from her angel. She wouldn’t let her feelings for RPK ruin another relationship, not again. But Aloysius caught her hands and pulled her out of the swing into his lap.

“Brett thinks I can make you happy,” He said. “Let me try, but do not expect love from me because I don’t remember how anymore.”

Kel let him kiss her, and then hug her. “You should go home now,” She murmured. It wasn’t that she wanted him to leave because she didn’t; she had forgotten to take her pills and a headache was coming on. She didn’t want to lose her temper because of the pain, not with him.

Aloysius kissed her again and then set her on her feet. “Very well,” He said. “May I ... Will you let me see you again?”

“Of course, Aloysius, you’re amazing in the sack.”

He smiled thinly at her. “Ha-ha.”

“I mean it Hotness,” She teased, then stood on her toes to kiss him goodbye.

---