The Daily Planner of Lady Viola Mascelene, A.H., Q.V.C., F.U.
by saintkitty
URL: http://www.bluecatsgraphics.com/pean/fanfics/34/

9:15 Arise.

9:30 Still arising.

9:47 Arisen.

9:48 Quick visit to the “Little Titled Nobelwomen’s” Room

10:30 My! That certainly was a gas. Note to self: Forget the olive dip before retiring.

10:32 A few moments for morning ablutions and a bit if a sample of that lovely new “Au Naturale” makeup I ordered from HSN.

12:00 Oh, Fiddellyfarts! I missed “The Wiggles” again! I wonder if the tall dark-haired one plays soccer. Oh,well. I look gorgeous! That new makeup certainly brings out the smashing highlights in my luxurious hair. Note to self 2: Stick with L’Oreal #15. It’s a keeper.

12:01. Where is Sophia with my breakfast? I simply can’t begin the day without my tea and bread soldiers. Or any kind of soldiers for that matter. (Tee Hee. Oh, Viola! You naughty, naughty tramp, er, scamp!)

12:05 Thank God, that lazy girl has finally brought breakie and oh, goody! A new issue of “Sports Illustrated”! I just love catalogs! As I think of it, Sophia is starting to look just a tad more beautiful lately. Maybe some nice, sunny digging in the garden planting that new olive tree will be just the ticket to blotch that peaches and cream complexion just a bit. Toughen the old hands a bit too, what?

1:45 Can’t that girl do anything right? The new olive needs a spade or two more of dirt around the roots and she’s disappeared. She better be making that bread I love so much as we’re almost out. I guess you just can’t retain good help anymore. I’ll just have to drop a few more spades on myself.

1:47 Oh, boy! Company! Men!!!!!! Oh, pity. There are only two. One for me and one for me.

1:49 Halleluia! Look at the bloody wicked shoulders on the hunky dark one! What did he say his name was? Something bonkers. Aloysius? Definitley invite Mr. American Hunk and his strange companion in for a bit of wine, a bit of bread (damn, that Sophia!), some of that leftover olive oil I received for a free sample at the market, and perhaps a new conquest. But my dear Viola! How could he ever resist you! Note to self 3: Tell dressmaker who said I needed a bra to shit in her hat, pull it over her ears, and call herself curly.)

3:30 What an exciting afternoon! That DARLING American cop and his dye-job friend (I know a color job when I see it.)
just left. How thrilling! Just like my very favorite American cop show “21 Jump Street”! Aloysius! I miss you already! I hope he calls. Hell, I hope he can shake that goofy friend with the dead wife. Like I care about some old violin! The only thing I want to play is that tall, dark, and handsome copper!

5:00 Where’s my tea?

7:00. Where’s my supper?

8:00 Well, a bit of telly. Maybe I can catch “Jerry Springer” and then to bed to dream about my beautiful Aloysius.

9:30 Bathe with what’s left of my bottle of “Skin So Tight”.
Hmmm, Note to self 4 : Call clinic to schedule next Botox treatment.

10:15 Retire. Think about Al. I wonder if he’ll call. Of course he will. Especially after I made it perfectly clear that I don’t mind a bit of slumming now and then. I wonder if he has a brother? What was name? Something bonkers. Aloysius?