My dear brother, As I know you have not yet met your demise, I am sending you a houseguest to help care for your burns. You were so kind to me about my injuries, how could I possibly ignore yours? Besides, I know you are already quite familiar with her. I believe she comes bearing a gift of olive oil. I deposited an extra 25 mil in your account for good measure. Best, Frater.   (l.85)


Dearest Frater Major, Thanks ever so for the surprise package. As you probably know by now, my treasured valise was a casualty of what turned out to be a most extraordinary train trip. I afforded many years to the collection that I thought had been lost to me forever. However, due to your gracious gift, I have now begun replenishing and replacing the little "doodads" that made my...   read more »

They pulled him out of the basement, wide-eyed and soot-covered and shivering through the intense heat. His bad eye had secreted so many tears, trying in vain to counteract the soot and smoke in the air, that it was gummed shut, and the flesh surrounding it was red, raw, and painful. The world had been utterly silent to him, in addition to its customary monochromatic cast, and the activity around him looked, for all intents and purposes, like a manic adventure of the Keystone Cops. He had laughed a little, and well-meaning strangers wrapped him in a blanket and slung their arms over his shoulder and—he knew, although...   read more »

Poor frater. Have obtained all the samples I need, but like poking him so took some more just for fun today. He called me Viola in his sleep and made kissy faces at me. Always hated when he did that... Now... who is this Viola person? At least I hope it is a person. Cannot bear to think about the physical contortions involved in loving a musical instrument. He is bendy but that is just sick.

Have located the ‘Viola’ frater referred to. And yes, it is a woman. (Will wonders never cease?) Apparently he met her for three hours the other day and is now in love. Please. Frater is more hard up than I imagined; Vinnie must be v. stingy with his favors. Will drop the English wench a line and see if she really is that easy.

Back in America. Customs Agent came on to me. He is now...   read more »

I met a red-haired D-Man once,
Way down where the lilies blow.
I asked him what was in his bag
And if he would not show?

He slightly frowned,
And with a smile,
He tied me to a tree.
You'd like to know, my Little Friend?
You'd like a piece of me?

I shook my head,
I did not cry,
I did not want a piece.
But I don't think his offer was
Real to say the least.

Eventually
I felt a touch,
Of something hard and long,
And then I felt my panties go,
I got the “piece” all wrong.

I often think
Of that old tree,
And how the lilies blew,
A red-haired diamond in the rough,
Oh, gods! I want Part Two....   read more »

Diogenes Pendergast let his eyes roam carefully up and down the woman standing before him. As players went, she was technically one of the best sexual partners he had ever had but beyond that she was emotionally backward. And she could never match his Gwen for showmanship — not even with all of her professional experience.

Viola had her good points though. She normally did as she was told, but as the Bard said, “Aye, there’s the rub”. She did not do “normally” this time. She had proved to be quite adept at playing games with his brother. Too adept. She had been an excellent confidant and for years had been there when he needed her. It ticked Diogenes off no end that his beautiful Galatea could turn out to be such a dolt where Aloysius was concerned.

Sitting comfortably in the only really decent chair in the house, a...   read more »

Diogenes: “When I was young—just a vile little kid.
Few noticed curious things I did
Like piercing peacocks with a crossbow gun
I’d slash up horses—and when I was done
I’d seize some random fool and scoop out his head
But then my family’s portraits said...”

Various Heads Floating in Jars: “What did they say?”

Diogenes: “They said my boy we think someday...
You’ll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay...
So... be a genius.”

Heads: “Free-range sadist”

Diogenes: “You have a talent for causing things pain.
So, be a genius...”

Heads: “Total badness.”

Diogenes: “The world will tremble when you’re inhumane.
Your temperament’s wrong for the priesthood
And law enforcement would suit you still less
So, be a genius...
And be a success...”

Head One: “There he is, folks—the leader of the wack!”

Head Two: “Watch him tech-out that tomb—oh, my God!”

Head Three: “He’s so brilliant, he’s just too damm...   read more »

“I see a silver phoenix circling
As I escape from the train...
I barely dodge a red cat
Staring evilly through the rain...
I’m having ghastly, ghastly visions...
You vixens—you’re in every one, yeah!
And it’s only luck I dodged those shots—
From that...   read more »

His parents were dead—burned alive—and no one had even noticed 18 year old Diogenes Pendergast had been crying. The tears fell off and on the entire car ride to Baton Rouge, no one had noticed and no one had tried to comfort him.

...

He sat in the leather chair, slumped forward with his hands hanging between knees. His expression was grim, lost and just empty. It had been two days and he hadn’t spoken a single word, had eaten nothing. He had only showered and slept. (No one knew he’d snuck out the first night to see Charles Duchamp, a friend of his brother’s.) He was waiting for his brother Aloysius to arrive. Aloysius would know what to do; he always knew what to do.

A door banged open and...   read more »