Dearest Digi,

You are a very hard man to track down, you naughty scamp! If I didn’t know better I would think you were trying to avoid me!

You can’t imagine how distraught I was when you left our love nest so hastily. I must have cried for nearly two minutes straight! Shame on you for making my eyes puffy, Digi. However I understand how your career requires you to travel at a moments notice, and I know how much your work means to you. Still, a note would have been nice as I have quite a collection of farewell notes from men, and would like for it to be as complete as possible.

I have just gotten back from being an Egyptologist in Egypt. Technically I am there for the ancient manuscripts but it’s always nice when one finds a bone on the side. I was quite fortunate this visit and found several.

I hope you like the scent I spritzed on the stationary and envelope. I made it myself (both the paper and the perfume), being very mindful of that unfortunate incident at the cabin where I accidentally used poison ivy when making our...   read more »

Viola walked up the path in the growing darkness, looking down at the small scrap of paper in her hand. She continued walking until a cottage became visible through the trees, its general appearance one of neglect and desertion. Undismayed, she tucked the paper into her pocket and turned down the overgrown track that led toward it.

She rapped on the door and waited. Nearly a minute passed before she heard the sound of someone on the other side.

The lock scraped and a dark patch appeared, opening into an interior even more gloomy than the dusk outside. “Why, Viola!” The man glanced past her into the darkness, then turned his attention back to her and smiled, swinging the door wide. A glint of red flickered in his good eye. “I see you received my note. Do come in; I hardly imagined you would respond to a second invitation from me — but here you are, as clever a little monkey as ever. May I take your wrap?”

“Yes, thank you, Diogenes. And I'll have something to drink if you you've got it.”

Diogenes raised an amused eyebrow. “Of course you will,” he said smoothly. “Do make...   read more »

Ave, mater
Ave, pater
How’s my righteous, boring frater?
Camp is over
Shortly, I fear
But I’m penning this to ask if I can stay here.

All the busboys
Hate our money
And they say my
Eyes look funny.
Now we have to
Do our own dishes
Busboys last as long as pets of Aloysius.

And the counselors
Are all female
I think I’ve found
The holy grail.
All the pretty
Ones I’ve raided
Cause with cutlery they’re easily persuaded.

So I take them
To the woods
Tell them I wanna
See the goods.
Then I strip them
Of their illusions
Often leaving them
In need of blood transfusions.

Let me stay
We’re doing nature skills today.
I’m learning how to follow trails
And how to set a trap...
And how to build a fire.

Let me stay
Don’t interrupt my work, I pray.
Why, I’m about to undertake
A study of anatomy
With Bambi and his mom.

I’ll be gracious
I’ll be gentle
I’ll try not to
Be too mental.
I’ll cut out the
Necrophilia.
I will even eat the treats from Aunt Cornelia....   read more »

You'll never make stay
So get keep your hands off of me
I know your every move
You can hide nothing, you see
You've tried this shit before
But never so brazenly
You think you're God's gift to man
But you're less than nothing to me

You say that it's ok
As drop down to your knees
You know that you're what I want
You've got the thing that I need
You look up into my eyes
Oh so hungrily
The sight of you makes me ill
Why won't you just let me be

Dirty Viola, Oh
Dirty Viola, Oh
Dirty Viola, Oh
Dirty Viola

Oh, ho

I've met the boys from Man U
They love when you come to town
Some of your biggest fans
They say you like to go down
You wait outside locker room doors
Anxious to get inside
Looks like I'm the only man left
Who hasn't taken a ride

You say that it's ok
I can have you however I want
You'll be my night lovin' thing
You'll be the freak I can taunt
You're just ignoring my words
This shit has gone much too far
Woman, if you don't back off me
You'll be seeing stars

(Chorus)

It's time for me to go home
Don't know how I ended up here
Tonight you'll be sleeping alone
Or a least not with me, my dear
I left Agent Cady...   read more »

“You have the most enchanting eyes, my lovely little pet...” Diogenes Pendergast’s voice trailed off, straining to see the color in her wide eyes. His hand was entangled with hers, running his long fingers over the thick rings on her hand. She could see the want in his eyes, and she felt the electricity rolling off him in waves. The air was still, as it is before a lightning storm, and with one look, she reassured his heavy heart.

When he looked away, she cast her eyes downward upon the table. Her filet was half-eaten, it was too rare for her tastes, but she had sat through the meal as Diogenes ate every morsel of juicy steak. The wine washed down her throat in slow, fermented trickles.

He pulled her hand close now, speaking to her, but delighting in the expensive manicure he had bought for her. To her, it was the same as always, but with every new dress, with every new manicure, with every new ring, it was the same boundless enthusiasm from dear Diogenes. After so many years, she understood so little about him.

It seemed from the moment they met, that he knew everything about her. They were meant...   read more »

Vincent D’Agosta took another sip of his Bud and let his eyes wonder around the bar he’d ducked into on his way home. It was a cop hangout, decorated primarily with bullet-riddled silhouettes from various firing ranges. He wondered why they didn’t just hang bloody corpses on the walls. The bar also boasted framed (and only complimentary) NYPD headlines from the Times and the Post, some with pictures of bloody corpses. There were also photos of the city’s top cops, past and present, a motley collection of mostly balding, paunchy clones whose faces all seemed to resemble the one D’Agosta shaved every morning. He saw several uniformed cops and several more detectives, and a few women who may have been police groupies. The women sat in pairs, sipping drinks and eyeing the men in uniform like starving cannibals.

One particularly striking woman sat alone, two empty booths from his, sipping a white wine. Vincent found himself staring at her. Hayward had been out of town at a seminar for a week and he felt lonesome and horny. It was amazing how little time it took to get used to a regular sex life again, and how little time it took...   read more »

The make-shift cell had all the illusions of luxury. It was a spacious room, and if Pendergast had not been shackled at his wrists and ankles, it would have seemed a lovely place.

He was chained to a handsome mahogany bed, wearing a black silk dressing robe. His body was clean, but he had no recollection of how it had gotten that way.

The last thing he remembered was finally losing consciousness after a long struggle in Fosco’s make-shift grave. Someone had saved him, only to imprison him again. It was all very perplexing.

Pendergast tested the strength of his shackles. All of his lock-picking instruments had been unsurprisingly removed from his person, and even his thin wrists were tightly bound by this pair.

On further inspection of his surroundings, the only thing he noticed about the room was how conspicuously bare it was. There were two doors, one presumably leading to a restroom and the other leading out. No paintings adorned the scarlet colored walls, and the gleaming wooden floor was empty except for his bed.

Suddenly, one of the doors opened. Two people stepped through into his room. Pendergast felt every muscle in his body clench with shock at the sight of...   read more »

1st person POV

She’d called me around 11pm, somehow knowing I was still awake. She’d said she just needed to see me if I wasn’t too worn out or too busy with other things. I wasn’t so I went to her, not knowing what to expect. They say you should expect the unexpected but then you’re always caught off guard for the things that are really unexpected. So I expected nothing, it was safer for myself and anyone else involved.

She greeted me at the door, arms sliding around my shoulders uncharacteristically. I said her name softly and she told me to hush. She didn’t want me to talk; she wanted me to hold her. So I did, sliding my own arms around her waist as I backed her into the room, closing the door with my foot.

Her long brown hair was down and I found my hands being drawn to it, I wanted to slide my fingers through it. When she didn’t stop my wandering touches, I started to tense. I wasn’t sure where this was going and I really wasn’t sure where I wanted it to go. Her...   read more »