The Museum’s alive,
With the sound of screaming.
With screams it abounds,
Every couple years.

The Major Events,
Have turned out as bloodbaths.
Have dinner there,
You’ll be the meat.

You know the shows,
Won’t be monster-free.
’tween lilies and old tombs
So once the lights go dim
Drop your fork and run for the street!

’cause the Museum’s alive,
With the sound of screaming
Screams that have rung,
’gainst a thousand ears.
If an invite you get,
To a new exhibit,
Make any excuse
But please leave town....   read more »

Somewhere on the small, rock-strewn island of Capraria, in a small cottage by the sea, the blazing colors of the setting sun painted a series of shifting, weaving patterns on the white stuccoed walls of the bedroom in which reclined a heavy-lidded Aloysius Pendergast. The fragrance of a lightly-scented lotus blossom perfume mixed maddeningly with the heavier scents of the sea outside carried in through the open French doors by way of a cooling breeze that found its way into the ordinarily stifling room.

Aloysius lay naked on the bed. His now lightly sun-kissed body was noticeably leaner from his recent prison sojourn but still heavily muscled and fit for any kind of action. The pale blonde hair on his chest moved rhythmically with his breathing; he lay with hands lighlty folded across his taut belly one leg slightly raised at the knee.

Thoughts of former loves whirled slowly through his mind: Sophia who had so beautifully graced the waterfall in his Dakota home and who had possessed the most exquisite legs he had ever seen. On a woman. Jemimah, a special agent who was indeed a special agent, and whose streetsmart, rough and tumble playfulness had made a truly fascinating experience...   read more »

Please be a Lady tonight,
For once be a Lady tonight,
A Lady doesn’t wander from brother to brother,
Try to be a Lady tonight.

Poor Aloysius was blue,
So to your island he flew,
But when he knew your mission he ran right back to prison,
Lucky you’re no Lady tonight....   read more »

December 2nd

Darling Santa,

I have, from all reports, been VERY good this year. I have been helpful to others as well. I helped Special Agent Pendergast catch that geeky brother of his. It doesn't matter that I was the decoy, I still helped. Although he was very hot, he liked diamonds more than me. He also caused me to ruin a perfectly good pair of Jimmy Choo heels with all that running around in the Underground. That was the pair of shoes that I told everyone came from Famous Footwear. I also helped Agent Pendergast get out of prison. It was because of his longing to once again kiss a lock of my long, glossy hair (only on my head this time) that he defied all odds in allowing his simple servant, a city officer, and that fat, crippled man break him out eventhough he was getting along so well with the other inmates. I helped Nora Smithback run the Museum, too. Nora is a little on the dense side and was busy trying to make the Egyptologist they had before I arrived to straighten things out. I am so grateful to Dr. Menzies for giving me the job. He was...   read more »

V’s a real nowhere gal,
Even with a Pendy pal,
Sink her island if you please,
Or give her to Diogenes,
Olive oil and home made wine,
Let her die off on the vine,
Island Girl,
You're the type
For Nobody....   read more »

After crippling his assailant with two well-put shots, one to each knee, Special Agent AXL Pendergast silently darted from the warehouse where he had been working undercover. Rounding the outside corner, he was immediately blinded by FBI arc lights set up to help bust the drug ring that Pendergast had infiltrated. Dodging government cars, an ambulance, and a large group of agents beginning to enter the warehouse on the double, Pendergast stumbled blindly into the Agent in Charge, his old friend, Michael Decker. “Pendergast!” Decker exclaimed when he took a good look at his reclusive friend in the glare from the surrounding lights, “You’ve been hurt. Get yourself over to the EMT right now. We’ll handle the warehouse.”

“I am perfectly capable of adding my assistance to the raid,” shot back the more-pale-than-usual Agent. “I need only to take a short breather and then I will be at the ready to join you.”

With that, Pendergast, bleeding from a bullet graze in his shoulder, leaned against the most available vehicle and closed his eyes.

“Aloysius,” Decker said putting a hand on the Agent’s arm, “you look like hell and that has to be hurting. Go see the EMT. That’s an order.”

Giving Decker...   read more »

9:15 Arise.

9:30 Still arising.

9:47 Arisen.

9:48 Quick visit to the “Little Titled Nobelwomen’s” Room

10:30 My! That certainly was a gas. Note to self: Forget the olive dip before retiring.

10:32 A few moments for morning ablutions and a bit if a sample of that lovely new “Au Naturale” makeup I ordered from HSN.

12:00 Oh, Fiddellyfarts! I missed “The Wiggles” again! I wonder if the tall dark-haired one plays soccer. Oh,well. I look gorgeous! That new makeup certainly brings out the smashing highlights in my luxurious hair. Note to self 2: Stick with L’Oreal #15. It’s a keeper.

12:01. Where is Sophia with my breakfast? I simply can’t begin the day without my tea and bread soldiers. Or any kind of soldiers for that matter. (Tee Hee. Oh, Viola! You naughty, naughty tramp, er, scamp!)

12:05 Thank God, that lazy girl has finally brought breakie and oh, goody! A new issue of “Sports Illustrated”! I just love catalogs! As I think of it, Sophia is starting to look just a tad more beautiful lately. Maybe some nice, sunny digging in the garden planting that new olive tree will be just the ticket to blotch that peaches and cream complexion just a bit. Toughen the old...   read more »

She opened the door to allow her good friend, Special Agent Aloysius Pendergast, to leave as he usually did after the tea was drunk and whatever pastries she had baked for him were eaten. But this time, it seemed, was going to be different. He softly closed the door and looked her full in the face with an expression almost of pain mixed with weariness.

“Not tonight,” he murmured softly into her ear. “I’m not leaving tonight.”

She was surprised. After all this time, she knew he liked her as a friend — someone to talk to and share common interests with. But this was not what she had ever expected from the reserved and oh-so-proper Special Agent.

She sighed not quite sure what do to next. Or what to expect.

“I... I wasn’t... I didn’t think you... were interested in anything more than company,” she replied not daring to look into those incredible blue eyes that were searching her face for some sign of permission.

The sultry Southern drawl whispered intensely,” Oh, my dear. I have been more than interested, but I did not think that my attentions were... wanted.”

She moved her hands to rest lightly on his forearms. Looking into the handsome face...   read more »